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Killourie · Guest

Not an Onion article, I'm afraid.There are too many little detals that satirists and even skilled writers would not go for, in order to make the story more "dramatic".I've known abused women and will testify that even if the signs are there that their spouses or boy/girl friends are psychopathic, they will return to them over and over again.Its largely because the women (and men, too) are in familiar territory and know where they "stand" in the relationship, even if where they are standing is dangerous. Like many living things, people tend to go where they "know the score", no matter how uncomfortable the score really is. Its getting them out of the situation that is the main difficulty.
I'm curious to know on what basis they decided the cost of living went down. I'm seeing more and more people on the streets around here.

Koutroumpas · Guest

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Hazeela · Guest

You seem very very concerned about laughing grandchildren. Personally, I enjoy the laughter of children..
That Goalie's brain just got wrecked!

Leesa · Guest

@ ozydingoyeahhh it probably was?
"OK, so, Laser Research Division - what have you got for me today? Smithers?""We developed a powerful argon laser that can knock ICBMs out of the sky at a distance of four hundred nautical miles. With a further two years of funding, we believe that we could shrink it sufficiently to allow it to be deployed on mobile platforms and aircraft.""Excellent, excellent. And what's your team been up to, Jones?""We've been working on an improved laser targeting system. We believe that we can now use it to enable delivery of air-launched munitions with a CEP of less than five metres.""Splendid. Now, Miesenbock, I know you're going to amaze me - what stunning application of laser technology have you come up with?""We can create false memories in fruit flies.""I beg your pardon?""We can create false memories in fruit flies.""Yes ... that's what I thought you said. Now, forgive me if I'm not seeing all the potential applications here, but ...""Uh ...""... I mean, last time I looked, flies weren't allowed to testify in court, am I right?""Well, no ...""So I couldn't, say, get out of a speeding ticket by having a bunch of fruit flies show up and testify on my behalf, could I?""No, but ...""So perhaps you'd be good enough to tell me why I should care what a fly can or cannot remember?""Well, sir, the memories we create, they're actually memories of pain.""Of pain.""Yes, sir.""Miesenbock, are you some kind of curious entomological sadist? Do you get some weird sexual thrill out of imagining those flies going around remembering the fictitious pain they've suffered at your hands? Am I going to read over your budget files and find them full of invoices for tiny ball-gags and handcuffs?""But we can permanently modify the fly's behavior!""Dr Miesenbock, you don't need a state-of-the-art laser to permanently modify a fly's behavior. In my own experience, a rolled-up newspaper is more than sufficient.""I ...""Thank you, gentlemen. That will be all. Dr Smithers, Dr Jones, I look forward to receiving your detailed reports in due course. Dr Miesenbock, perhaps you'd be kind enough to stop by my office later. I'd like to give you a demonstration of a little project of my own, which uses lasers to create memories of pain in human beings."

Owoka · Guest

I'll be really honest, that is not impressive. Burying for piss poor attempt at attention whoring. If you're going to attention whore, make sure you're worthy....Inspector gadget on bottles, kid that plays mario theme with two guitars, kid who had his wow account cancelled, tron guy.... these are people that got it right.

ILAYAKUMAR · Guest

The inflatable edition would be a lot easier to kick when you're losing. Seems pretty handy to me.

Ezer · Guest

Here's $250 -- go have one last hurrah before I send my death panels to euthanize your old-ass!/S

Muhedin · Guest

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